Artsy

"We live in a world that fosters the technical rather than the artistic, the mechanical rather than the organic and a financial rather than a mechanistic approach. Art goes against all of that. While it can have a technical aspect, such as digital photography has, art is eventually about expressing yourself, about what inspires you, about sharing your view of the world with others. What medium you use, as well as all the technical intricacies of this medium, eventually fade away when compared with the message expressed in your work. Who knows the size of the chisels used by Michael Angelo and whether they were made of hardened steel, Damascus steel, or some other metal." 

~ Alain Briot, Being an Artist

Borrowing from Alains words- the freedom to create is a precursor to being creative, being an artist. A wonderful thought at the end of a busy day. Thank you Mike Chowla, for sharing the original article with me.

Addiction Awareness

H: I wonder if there is a program called Impulsive Anonymous, you know?

M: Yeah sure there is. It is called growing up. 

H: But what if I have the Peter Pan syndrome?

M: You don't. You just wish you did, for then you would be able to justify all that craziness that I have to curb.

Most dictionaries consider "uninhibited" a synonym of "impulsive". And yet, one is more positive than the other- maybe because the former is what it seems like in the present, and the latter is what it seems like in hindsight.

Selfish

There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.

- Oscar Wilde

Let go...

Intensity or Luminosity?

I am amazed at people who can focus on something keeping aside every other worry in the world. It does not matter if their house is on fire or their loved one is on fire or even if their own butt is on fire - they will continue doing what they're doing. It's said that such people are closer to God, because nothing affects their intense concentration.

I guess I disagree with the God part though.. Anything that lacks compassion cannot be close to God. And if that's how purists are, if that's how geniuses are, then I don't wish to be a purist or a genius. I am happy watching such people from a distance and admiring them. And as much as I admire them, I would not want to become one of them. Because I'd rather be poor in concentration and totally unfocused, than not being a part of this world when required the most.

Well to be fair, a burning laser beam has its own utility in demanding conditions. But it's plain light that brightens up a room, or for that matter, a gloom.

Let circumstances be the magnifying glass that converts luminous light into an intense, singular beam. But remember to get that magnifying glass out of the way once the purpose is served, else the beam will burn down everything it falls on. And no light, however intense or luminous it is, can put life into ashes.

Fraternal Twins

Your fears and dreams reside in the same place.

Magic Trick

There is something extremely magical about a child's eyes. All emotions seem to be magnified in those pools of wonder, mischief and innocence. It's such a challenge to keep this innocence intact as they grow up. Knowledge inevitably takes away their playfulness over years, like a sad necessity.

But there are some people out there who retain that innocence, wonder and mischief. And more often than not- these are some of the most creative people around. They are people who are always in control- people who do not falter or waver in making some really difficult decisions. But what is really interesting to watch is how they tackle a problem. Along with some deep lines on their foreheads noting the perplexity of the situation- they also have that quintessential twinkle in their eyes which says "Wow- look at this mess.. This is going to be interesting to explore..." It's as if a child is working on a puzzle, completely oblivious to everything else. Just like a child never doubts that it will find a way out, these people have full faith that they will come out of the problem. And their unadulterated confidence itself sounds the victory bell.

It's not bad to grow up. But it's important that we never let the child in us go quite. No- I don't mean that we go around trying to fit ourselves in a pram or head for a tin of Cerelac. What I mean is that we need not let this growing-up business seed any disbelief in us. Experiences are worth only something- they don't mean world.

Know the trick- don't let growing-up seep so much into you that it holds down the careless soul that is as free as the wind.

Impressive Expression

The other day, me and my colleague were reviewing a presentation that was to be given to students and fresh graduates who were about to embark on a journey in the IT industry. There was one slide which talked about having the right attitude. I had an idea to put forth at the time- but I could not put in across as clearly as I would have liked to. And when I read this quote, I was delighted to see that it put my thoughts in the correct set of words:

“It's easy to let life deteriorate into making a living instead of making a life. It's not the hours you put in, but what you put into the hours that counts. Learn to express rather than impress. Expressing evokes a "me too"' attitude while impressing evokes a "so what" attitude.”
~ Jim Rhon

Express v/s impress. A difficult, but very important lesson to learn. And the sooner one learns it, the better. I have an interesting example to give here. I had a colleague who frequently got into petty arguments with people. Over time, I realized what the problem was: he saw every thing as an opportunity to show off his knowledge. Whether it was an interview, a meeting or a general discussion, he assumed it was a chance for him to showcase his talent and expertise. No one ever had any doubts about his knowledge or expertise- everyone has acknowledged long back that this guy was good. But everyone shied away from interacting with him because of his "I know it all" attitude. So in spite of him being so talented, neither could he be of any help to people, nor could he add any value by his presence.

I had talked about this in another post of mine (Clash of the Titans), that after a certain stage, we need to stop asking others to certify our worth. Instead, we need to join this "others" camp and help people understand their worth.

Work on your expression, and your impression will take care of itself.

Identity Management

I was once afraid of people saying, "Who does she think she is?" Now I have the courage to stand and say, "This is who I am."--Oprah Winfrey

You have one life- don't live it pretending to be someone who you are not. Stop trying to derive confidence based on what others think about you. Be yourself. That's the only way to really live- else you are are just living a lie.

Bitter Medicine

If there is one profession I respect a lot- it is medicine. When I stood at the crossroads after 12th std, I knew that I had neither the courage nor the patience to become a doctor. Because doctors are people who have the stamina, patience and courage of around ten average people put together.

But exceptions prove the rule! Along with being one of the most noble professions, doctors aka medical practitioners are also infamous for indulging in money-minting schemes and behaving in an unacceptable fashion.

Today evening, my sister got a very acute headache and my mom rushed her to a doctor who has his clinic close by. My mom has a history of migraine and my sister gets it from her. But since my sister was recently hospitalized and is on other medicines right now, so instead of any self medication, my mom decided to consult a doctor...

"नमस्कार doctor. दुपार पासून खूप डोक दुखतय हीच.. काही सुचत नाही आहे.. सध्या हे औषध चालू आहे आणी.."
"हे घ्या- हे औषध द्या.. चला"
"पण doctor- हे already जे औषध आहे ते..."
"बंद करा... त्यात काय..."
"आणी तिला migraine चा पण आहेच problem ज़रा..."
"काहीतरी बोलू नका.. लहान मुलांना migraine नसत.. तिच्या मनात काहीतरी भरू नका..."

For anyone who does not understand Marathi: the doctor completely snubbed out my mom when she tried to tell him that my sister is already on some medication and that it could be a migraine headache. The doctor said something to the tune of "What do you know?! Kids don't have migraine- don't try to put some silly ideas in her head!!"

At this point, let me mention that my sister is not a small child- she is 19 years old and totally looks her age. Needless to say, Dr. Impatient did not even bother to inquire her age. My mom was silent. I would have probably glared at that doctor and given him a piece of my mind, but because my mom is so patient herself, she continued...

"BP वगैरे काही.. "
"आता काय .. काही गरज नाही- लहानांचा BP वगैरे काही नसत.."

My mom left his clinic, but not before paying an exorbitant amount as the consultation fees.

I don't mean to be unfairly sarcastic. Such exceptions exist in all professions. But it is more critical in a profession like medicine, where it is someone's life and well being which hangs in balance. I realize that doctors are human beings too. They cannot be perfect, polite all the time. Treating and saving lives is a big responsibility and obviously it is extremely stressful. I cannot claim to even imagine what each day in their lives must be like. But does that give them an excuse to behave as they please?! No. It does not. Period. The fact that they get up everyday and go to their clinics and hospitals means that they have made a choice and are living it. And mind you- the doctors that I am talking about are getting handsomely paid for what they do.

Thankfully, I have met more good doctors than not-good ones. So my faith in these good breed of people is still quite intact. All I want to say to all those exceptions out there is:

If you cannot be true to the purpose of what you're doing, if you're not passionate about what you're doing, if you're just doing it for the money, then please don't risk our lives and our faith in your profession by continuing with it.

Wild Wild Teens

I just read a very good post here, which talks about how, setting the right priorities, can help kids look at things in the right perspective and avoid unnecessary confrontation with their tired parents. And my personal experience as an elder sister has taught me an important lesson in this regard.

Kids- teenagers more so- are a breed of their own- or at least that is what they like to believe. Being in teens is almost as excruciating for the teenager as it is for the parent/guardian. A teenager is always trying out different masks- and in the process of it- trying to find out his or her true identity. Talking to them (leave apart explaining something to them) is a very difficult task- unless- we think like them.

The issue is not only absence of priorities or misplaced priorities- it is also about the difference in our priorities and theirs. That's what people call the generation gap- and it is not peculiar to teenagers- it is just more emphasized for them, because they don't give a damn about anyone else's priorities. Ironically- that's the way youth is- which is why they are also capable of feats (good and bad) which demure and more mature people won't even dream of.

Imagine being in a group of friends aged 14-something, most of whom have expensive gadgets or totally unacceptable body art. It's all about the coolness quotient- you're either one of them, or you're out to fend for yourself. Parents and siblings suddenly become the most unimportant people in the world for them- as their friends and special friends and extra special friends start assuming mammoth significance. Every teenager is scared of being labeled as uncool or an outcast. Every teenager wants to be the most popular one- and if that popularity comes at the cost of being rebellious at home, then it is "so be it" for them. And that is their highest priority.

But first things first: lets make one thing very very clear. Giving in to their demands every single time is stupidity- because giving in to unreasonable tantrums will never set their perspective right.

So what do you do? Well- you have to negotiate with them like a seasoned bargainer. Let their demands be fulfilled as rewards for something that you would want them to do. Let them realize that every joy is sweeter when preceded by some sweat and hard work. Let them realize the value of money and time by regulating it based on the fulfillment of a promise that they made to you. Let them make some small mistakes- give them a chance to learn from them in stead of trying to restrain them in a protective cocoon.

Agreed- it is much much easier said than done. No one would want to let their child/sibling getting drugged at a late night party or dropping out of high-school- and I am no exception. So yes- some boundaries need to be drawn- and we need to make sure that these boundaries are not crossed- whatever be the reason. And when teenagers start acting up a tantrum, wanting to cross these- it seems like an impossible task to reason with them...

But I speak from personal experience as I say this- the most important thing that teenagers need is self-confidence. They are always in dire need of it. Especially so in today's cut-throat competitive world- where they either have to excel, or resign to being an Average Joe or Plain Jane. So, as irrational or unreasonable they seem- we have to assure them that we believe in them. And that we will continue to do so even if they have plain black hair and no cellphone. They need our faith- not our anger. The more angry and stubborn we get- the more they will rebel.

And most important of all- they need to be told- that it is not us versus them- it is us and them. That it can never be an 'either-or' scenario- it will always have to be an 'and-or' scenario. Once they realize that we are not trying to control their lives and that we just want to have a say in it- they will tone down their hostility.

So be it! :)

Smile away the miles...

I was just talking to someone who was feeling very sad and lonely, being far from her loved ones. As I was trying to cheer her up a bit- I was thinking to myself- anything that I say will be easier said than done. I know I have felt lonely at times. And in all those times- I learnt that memories are powerful. So I cannot let them make me weak- I have to make them my strength instead.

We associate love with people, places, things. Which is why distance troubles us. The heart never sees distance- it is the mind which puts in the miles between two hearts... :)

Entropy

I have almost always been admonished for my sudden implulses and my heart-rules-head syndrome. Yes- it pinches me to call it a syndrome but that is what it is termed by all the sane people out there. Since they are in majority and I am in minority- I think it would be politically correct to equate it with an abnormal condition (hence the word syndrome)

I have never really planned for any event in my life. I have lived it as it comes. And yes- I have lived it without any regrets. The road has not always been laid down with roses- there have been a lot of thorns too- but I am truly content that I got to live through all of it- good and bad. I have breezed through some beautiful moments and have survived through some tough ones. And there was one thing which was never missing in any of these moments- that element of surprise- adventure and the most important of all- hope.

Of course- that is solely about me. So a disclaimer is required here which says- I am not denying the effectiveness and advantages of logical reasoning and analytical capabilties. I obviously cannot deny that people who find their place in the majority- "The Thinkers"- are pretty content too! And of course there must be some valid reason why such people are in majority while "The Dreamers" are in minority. The Thinkers are assured about the fact that they have thought of almost everything and have planned for any almost any eventuality. Well- it is not surprising that the word almost appeared twice in that last sentence. Yes- it makes sense to plan, to analyse and to conclude and predict based on statistical information. Millions of lives are saved everyday using such tools and techniques and it would be foolish to give up on them! But the bottomline remains- one simply cannot plan for everything- because the future is a surprise. Period. There is no full proof way to prepare for everything and the sooner one understands that, the less disappointed that person will be. Which reminds me of a nice quote I read the other day:

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

It's true- one wants to see the universe and everything that happens as a series of logical events- because it is simple to understand logic- and more importantly because logic would enable one to predict what would happen ahead. And then that element of uncertainty will be gone and one will be more assured. Or at least that is what one thinks would happen.

On the other hand, it is extremely difficult to accept the fact that there are things about this universe which defy logic and reason- which just exist and occur without any visible explanation.

Does that mean that one should stop analysing things completely? No- I don't think so. I guess the way to go about it would be not to analyse all things at the same time- to know that there will always be some things which will not seem to make any sense at the given time in the given circumstances. And to know- that when the time is right- everything will be visible to us... :)

Past Tense - Future Perfect

I have two options.

I can run away from the situation and pretend as if nothing has happened. That would be simple to do. Like starting a new fresh blog- which has no history of the old one.

OR

I stay here and face the situation. Not fight it- simply accept it. Like staying on the same blog. Just write new posts. Slowly over time- the new ones will start filling up the blog.. And there will be a time when there will be so many of these new ones that the old ones will be difficult to find. Then they will be gone in the true sense. As they say- the opposite of love is not hate- it is indifference.

I choose the second option. It's the more difficult one- but I know that it's only one that will work. No pretension- and complete submission to the truth. The truth is not simple to accept. But it is worse to have ghosts of incomplete truth haunting the soul. Let the truth be out there in the open. It will be difficult to digest- the first few instants-days-months-years.. But the peace that comes after that will be complete in all senses. No unsaid things- no half truths- and no unanswered questions. Just acceptance.

Acceptance of the fact that no one has a clean slate. Each person whom we meet throughout our lives has a life before me meet him or her. And that life is past. What we live with these people is the present and the future. And that is in our hands. The past has happened. It's gone, over and done with. There's no changing it.

But lets's not jeopardize the future over the past. Let's promise ourselves that we will build our future on top of the present moment. And the past has no role in it. Period.

The blog stays. New posts have begun :)

Be Aware

The Alchemist says that when we truly want something and are walking down the path that destiny has laid down for us- then the whole world conspires so that we reach our destination and get that which we desire. So the first step to reach the destination is to know what it is. To be aware of what we want.

We all choose what we want. Destiny just gives us a chance to make those choices.

Attention! Stand at ease...

These group of words which are shouted out as commands in the morning assembly during school days get re-arranged in weird ways over time.

In the assembly of life- when it's time to take a stand- it asks for all the attention that you can give it. And it's definitely not done at ease.

Responsiblity

Instead of blaming others for disappointments and pain, look into your expectations. The key is not to stop expecting, but to stop expecting from others. Forget about being unfair to them- you are being unfair to yourself when you expect something from someone which that person is unwilling and/or incapable to deliver.

Behind all the heart talk and feelings and emotions, the fact that holds it all together is that no one but you yourself are responsible for your joy and sorrow.

No one- absolutely no one can really make you happy or sad. Only you can.

Repression

It was just a day before my 12th std board exams when my father was hospitalized with a critical case of third degree ulcers which were making him vomit blood. He was kept in the ICU. I suddenly realized that I have to take care of my mom and sister- that I might not be the strongest person in the world- but I was the strongest of us three and that it was upto me to be brave and not cry. I did that- I gave my exams detached from what was happening at home- I used to come back everyday after the exam and go directly to the hospital- hoping that today there would be some better news. Finally his condition started improving and relief set in. I was working like a machine all those days when he was critical- I did not pay attention to how much my soul was bleeding- I just knew I could not break down and cry even once- because my mom was hinging on me being brave. I was probably a good daughter at that time.

But that took a toll on me.

Since then, over all these years- in any crisis- I have let my soul bleed and still be brave. Because that is how people require me to be. I have to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good employee, a good human being. I have tried doing all that and tried being brave all the time- facing any crisis thrown my way without any help and without any support. And most people have come to take it for granted- she does not need anyone- she will manage.

And it has started hurting now.

When the soul is wounded and does not find any outlet to express that pain- it turns physical and and the body starts hurting.

Celebration

Diwali begins today- with Dhanteras. As I get set to celebrate the festival of lights in this foreign land- I know I will miss making rangoli- lighting diya's- hanging aakaash-kandil- and playing with anaar and phool-jhadees and most important of all- the home-made sweets and other delicacies that are going to flood my home and office back in India!

But I also know that I have the festive spirit in my heart- and even if it is without all these above things- I will celebrate Diwali here with a new dress and a candle or two! I will celebrate this festival with as much joy because the light is inside of me- and I carry it wherever I go :)

Here's wishing myself a Happy Diwali and a Happy New Year...

Yes- I do

I wonder how many people would have known that what seems like a hazy rose in the second picture was actually just another red flower before I shook it up through a Gimp whirlwind. In fact- it's quite possible that some people might not even see a rose at all in the second picture- but something completely different. We see what we want to see. The catch is- once we believe in it- it comes true- it becomes real for us. We first need to know what we want to see- and then believe in it. Mind you- however- there is a lot of difference between wanting something to happen and believing it will.

The hazy rose in the second image above is just an alternate to the first one having overwhelming clarity. And clarity does not define the existence of an image- just its credibility. A dream is an alternate reality. Wanting a dream to come true is common- believing in it- well- difficult. Do you believe in your alternate reality? The title for the post is my answer to that question.

Undercurrents

Never underestimate the strength of silent faith.