Scar

"Yes.. We're just around the corner.. No no, don't take the bus - we'll be there in 2 min.. Please stop crying .. We're coming right away.."

We spotted her standing at the opposite end of the road. It was dark and I could not see her face, but her stride reflected her agony. She crossed over to our side and got into the car. We sat in silence for sometime before Kunal asked her -
"What happened.. ? You guys had a fight or something..?"

She started unfolding the story. Knowing the couple pretty well, we had already guessed some of the story while going to pick her up and most of our guesses were true. Except one small detail that came in between sobs -
".. so he slapped me across the face"

I did not want to believe that I heard that right. I shuddered inside - and my hands started shivering.. I don't know whether it was anger or shock or disgust.

"Slapped??? He hit you?!"

I looked back at her and the red swelling at the corner of her left eye suddenly became prominently visible inside the dim light of the car.

She touched the wound - " It's the ring - his ring cut me near the eye.."

I swallowed the lump in my throat - "How did he.. I.. I can't believe he hit you.. He knows you're expecting.. and... "

She cut me short - "Yeah well.. It hasn't happened for the first time. I've been slapped in public once - out on the road. At least this time it was within closed doors - maybe that's the discount this time because I am pregnant now.."

I did not know what to say. We happen to be very close to this couple and hearing her say all this was shocking. We took her to our place and tried to cheer her up a bit. Her husband came over to our place looking for her later that night. We left them alone so that they could talk it out and they both left together some time later. I will never forget the look on her face as she left that night - her eyes seemed to say.. "This is not the last time ..."

All these days when I used to hear about domestic violence, I automatically associated it with illiterate people living in dire financial conditions. It was something I associated with house maids, construction workers and the like. Never with normal people like us. And here I was, trying to console a woman as literate as me, who was hit not once but multiple times, by her well-educated husband.

I am no one to judge the reasons behind their fight. I don't know who was right and who was wrong. But nothing justifies a physical assault. Nothing.

I have no clue if they will find a solution and resolve everything the right way. All I hope is that there is no "next time".

Influenza

"No no.. I'm not taking any risks. What if we go out and get pelted by stones?! No way- am staying home!!"

Me and my sister had plans with friends today evening- but my sister wouldn't listen. She had already decided. After my initial disagreement- I gave in to her decision and we are now at home. Today is Valentines Day.

So there's this anti-western stand that these supposed keepers of morality (read stone-pelters) have taken over the past few years. They randomly go and damage property at any place that seems western enough to them. Gift galleries, multiplexes, cafes, fast-food joints- you name it and they've broken things there. They apparently believe that Valentines Day is a bad influence.

I am not sure I understand what they're talking about. Valentines Day is a celebration of love! I realize that not everyone takes it in the same spirit , but does that mean that it be banned?! I don't think so. Are we not supposed to be living in a free country?! Who are these people to decide what we do or not? We are not breaking any law by exchanges roses or chocolates or cards. We are just having a good time! We don't give a damn about whether the Valentines Day has come from the West or the East or whatever. Indians are known to be people who love celebrating. And Valentines Day means the same as Sakrant, Holi or Diwali to us- it's a reason for celebration!

I celebrated Valentines Day in office today, and I felt great as I distributed toffees and little heart-shaped paper pin-ups to everyone in my team! Everyone forgot about work, deadlines, schedules and all our worries melted away with the sweet candy as we giggled away with child-like joy. For those 5-10 min, each one of us felt the spirit of togetherness and love. I'll say that we experienced Valentines Day.

Bad influence?!

Repression

It was just a day before my 12th std board exams when my father was hospitalized with a critical case of third degree ulcers which were making him vomit blood. He was kept in the ICU. I suddenly realized that I have to take care of my mom and sister- that I might not be the strongest person in the world- but I was the strongest of us three and that it was upto me to be brave and not cry. I did that- I gave my exams detached from what was happening at home- I used to come back everyday after the exam and go directly to the hospital- hoping that today there would be some better news. Finally his condition started improving and relief set in. I was working like a machine all those days when he was critical- I did not pay attention to how much my soul was bleeding- I just knew I could not break down and cry even once- because my mom was hinging on me being brave. I was probably a good daughter at that time.

But that took a toll on me.

Since then, over all these years- in any crisis- I have let my soul bleed and still be brave. Because that is how people require me to be. I have to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good employee, a good human being. I have tried doing all that and tried being brave all the time- facing any crisis thrown my way without any help and without any support. And most people have come to take it for granted- she does not need anyone- she will manage.

And it has started hurting now.

When the soul is wounded and does not find any outlet to express that pain- it turns physical and and the body starts hurting.

Freedom

What must it be like not to be able to express? I think of it and I shudder... How sad must those people be who do not have the liberty to express what they feel! How painful it must be to suppress feelings- not be able to share them with anyone...


Emotions are proud of themselves- and as much as they are suppressed- they always find a way to break free from inhibitions.