Artsy

"We live in a world that fosters the technical rather than the artistic, the mechanical rather than the organic and a financial rather than a mechanistic approach. Art goes against all of that. While it can have a technical aspect, such as digital photography has, art is eventually about expressing yourself, about what inspires you, about sharing your view of the world with others. What medium you use, as well as all the technical intricacies of this medium, eventually fade away when compared with the message expressed in your work. Who knows the size of the chisels used by Michael Angelo and whether they were made of hardened steel, Damascus steel, or some other metal." 

~ Alain Briot, Being an Artist

Borrowing from Alains words- the freedom to create is a precursor to being creative, being an artist. A wonderful thought at the end of a busy day. Thank you Mike Chowla, for sharing the original article with me.

Tolerant != Timid

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" ~ Aristotle

It amazes me to find many *uneducated* people around! (Shall I just call them pig-headed, or would that be unfair to pigs?) I can totally understand having strong opinions, but how is that synonymous with believing that any other opinion is crap?!

I love music and arts, but do I think that anyone who is does not have an inclination to these creative expressions is useless or wasting their life? No, I don't. So it puzzles me to no end when people assume that the absence of interest for *their* passion in another person's life makes that person a pathetic, non-motivated soul without purpose.

Oh, and I did follow Aristotle's principle and the entertained the thought of being pig-headed (sorry PETA!), and I chose not accept it. Opinionated? No, because I gave the other thought a chance, but it did not win !!

Noise Filter

"Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable"
~ Oscar Wilde

Sometimes, it just takes one small doubt to turn you into an incurable skeptic..

Don't beware of all doubts because doubts help you learn and be sane - just beware of the ones which stop you from unlearning !!!

An Unobstrusive Resolve

Today I celebrated Vat Savitri - a fast for something that I pray for every night anyways. Vat Savitri is an equivalent of Karwachauth - different name, same game. It's a fast praying to the Gods, asking them to bless my husband with a long, healthy and happy life.

Today I realized something that I have always suspected to be true, but did not want to say out before I could experience it myself. Today I know that this day goes way beyond the candy-floss and loud Karwachauth that Hindi movies have made it out to be. This day is not about showing off the power of marriage. Quite the contrary - it's about celebrating the subtlety of this bond. It's about letting the understated remain as is, without hanging it up in a showcase garishly decorated with ek-chutki-sindoor, heavy sarees, not to mention the much-hyped wait for chaand, and the exorbitantly expensive gifts that eventually follow.

Everyone who knows me knows how flamboyant I am. I'm very romantic, I love dressing up and all the works. So I'm sure there'll be people who read this and take the chance to stand up and shout "You hypocrite!!". Well, point taken. But there are some things which I do not like flaunting - my marriage and my quiet romance with my husband is one of them.

On this day, I pray to the Gods that I always have the strength to fill my husband's long life with the subtlety he so loves.

Amen ...

Communication and Paranthas!

" ... which is okay, but what about the Mangalashtaka vidhi? We have to do that first.. "

"... Pradnya - where's the newspaper?.. wait wait I got it"

"... because if we begin at 8 in the morning, we will get only 2 hours before we can .."

"... hey how do you switch on the TV? "

"... do it in the middle hours, and they will get time for make up and all .. "

"... no no.. put on cartoon network naah... "

"... Karishma get one more chair for Kaku..."

"... yes yes.. what will you have? Kokum sharbat? Ok ok.. Priya? Beta, give her some sharbat.. Priya??? Ayyeee Priyaaaaaaaaa?????"

I snap out of the surreal state that I have been in ever since all these voices started flooded my living room today mornin. I mechanically walk to the kitchen to prepare some Kokum sharbat for someone - I am not yet sure who. I am just in awe of the many people who have gathered in my living room and are trying to finalize the proceedings of one of the most important days of my life. Yup - it's my marriage day that they are all discussing about, which is 6 months from now, but looking at the activity around me, it seems as if I am going to be sent packing from my house tomorrow itself!

As expected, it is a completely chaotic family meeting. All these people are talking in groups of two or three, each group having a completely different discussion. And I am wondering to myself- how the hell are these people ever going to reach ANY conclusion like this?!

"Priya? Get some water for Kaka.."

I get back to work. I'm thinking about me and Kunal and how things have been going between our families. Simple is the right word to describe the way things have gone between the two families. We were expecting some opposition and fireworks, but given the kind of intense fireworks both me and Kunal have had to face in our lives till now, I think God decided to give us a welcome break in this regard :)

Simple. At least till now.

I can sense some tension in the air today. There are some obvious differences in some pooja vidhis. But what is amazing is the dignity with which these differences are being handled and the way everyone is striving to reach some middle ground. I see that the chaotic discussion has reached a final conclusion in less than an hour, and all the management principles and communication rules that are taught in high profile institutes, suddenly seem so mundane and small. I mean - I look at these people sitting in front of me, deciding some important details in between laughter, tea and paranthas and yet excelling at what they are doing!

These folks are not MBAs or PHDs. These people have not taken any special classes in communication. These are simple people who want everyone to have their say and realize and accept the fact that each of them will need to adjust a bit. Which is why it's not surprising that they have managed to clear out all chaos and decide exactly what's to be done, without any hint of malice or hurt.

All this while, when I used to hear professionally experienced and highly educated people talk about "unique challenges in communication", I thought it truly must be a big deal. But today I saw our folks in action and saw these simple people come up with one solution after the other. That, my dear friends, was effortless communication. And no institute in this world can "teach" that.

I suppose some of my MBA friends, especially the ones who think that communication is a "big deal" and preach others, can get some tips in communication from our folks! Don't worry guys - you won't have to pay for it! In fact you will get paranthas when you come over.. :)

Fraternal Twins

Your fears and dreams reside in the same place.

Varied Definitions

कोई ये कैसे बतायें के वो तन्हा क्यों हैं
वो जो अपना था वोही ऑर किसी का क्यों हैं
यही दुनिया हैं तो फिर ऐसी ये दुनिया क्यों हैं
यही होता हैं तो फिर आख़िर यही होता क्यों हैं

एक ज़रा हाथ बढ़ा दे तो पकडले दामन
उसके सीने में समा जाएँ हमारी धड़कन
इतनी कुरबत हैं तो फिर फासला इतना क्यों हैं

दिल-ऐ-बरबाद से निकला नहीं अब तक कोई
एक लुटे घर पे दिया करता हैं दस्तक कोई
आंस जो टूट गयी फिर से बंधाता क्यों हैं

तुम मसर्रत का कहो या इसे गम का रिश्ता
कहते हैं प्यार का रिश्ता हैं जनम का रिश्ता
है जनम का जो ये रिश्ता तो बदलता क्यों हैं?
~ कैफी आजमी

If I remember correctly, I first listened to this song when I was 10 years old or so. My Mom loved all Jagjit Singh ghazals and she had the audio cassette having all songs from the movie Arth. I did not understand much of it when I heard it at the time. I kept asking my Mom what it meant - "what does tanhaa mean??" And she had told me - "Don't be so impatient dear, you will know when you will know. Right now, you can just feel good about the fact that you don't know what it means" I did not realize till much later how much she had said in those few words.

Over the years, I have listened to this song many many more times - each time with it assuming radically different meanings for me, and yet remaining as relevant as ever. Sometimes I related to the song as I struggled with sharing the time of a loved one with other things and people. At other times, the song gave voice to my confusion as affection replaced time in the last sentence. And there were other times when it was much more than time and affection - probably something which I am not equipped to capture in words.

But through all these years, I still haven't been able to understand or justify the last line of the song, which asks the soulful question about a relationship changing over time.

Isn't change a way of life? At the cost of sounding completely inexperienced and very naive too- isn't it so that a relationship remains sanct only if there are not restrictions of how it should be? Is it not a living thing which should be allowed to grow as it pleases? Would it not lose it's vitality if it's boxed into a particular shape or size or color, or, for that matter, a legal representation laid down by society?

Like every one else, I have struggled with the changing nature of relationships - with my parents, with my siblings, with my colleagues and friends. And every time, after the initial "why does it have to be this way" rant, I came around to accept the fact that it's the only way it can be.

And more importantly - I know one thing to be true always, irrespective of the nature of the relationship and the people involved in it: it cannot survive if it's not allowed to take its own course. It cannot survive if it's relegated to what its socially acceptable name "requires" it to do.

हमने देखी हैं उन आंखों की महकती खुशबू
हाथ से छुके उसे रिश्तों का इल्जाम ना दो
सिर्फ़ एहसास हैं ये रूह से ही महसूस करों
प्यार को प्यार ही रहने दो कोई नाम ना दो
~ गुलज़ार

Don't try and define a relationship - let the relationship define you...

Which way is the highway?

"Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show."

I was talking to a friend today and as I gave him the latest updates of what's up with me, he started looking for a word to describe the pace of my life. And we both finally decided on happening.

So how do we define happening? Does a person who goes out partying every night have a happening life? Or is it happening only if the person goes out partying every night with a different set of friends? :)

I believe happening is when there is no certainty in one's life. And the absence of certainty makes everything completely unpredictable and hence makes every thing seem like a new twist and an unexpected turn..

As we went to talk about other things, I wondered whether I am really enjoying my happening life. "Of course I am.." I said to myself ".. but one cannot have popcorn for dinner all life.."

More or Less

So it looks like I have received quite a lot of attention for the *less posts, in mails and messages. Which is why, before going ahead, I need to clarify one thing. I first want to thank everyone who was concerned about what was happening. Thanks people- I truly appreciate the fact that you regularly follow my blog posts - I shall keep writing for all you people always!! And secondly, there is nothing wrong with me. I am not upset, and I am definitely not depressed. It was not pain or agony- but a mere poetic streak which churned out these posts.

What I was trying out here, was a theme of the five senses being amiss- what it would feel like to suddenly find one sense missing in everything we do. Not in terms of the physical aspect, but the emotional one. Which is why, I took one piece of poetry at a time- Hindi alternated with English- each piece signifying an event/incident talking-about/leading-to directly/indirectly one sense. Looks like it was totally senseless. Haha :)

Not all these posts were meant to sound sad as such. In fact, I would say that except for the first one- Colorless- all others were not sad and had totally different ideas in them. Soundless talked about immortality. Scentless was a simple narration of the present. Wordless was a joyous admission of an inability to capture an emotion. And while Touchless had a very solemn tone (with "tears" and all)- it spoke of finality, which is not necessarily happy or sad.

Each one of us faces overwhelming emotions once in a while, which leave us a bit numb and unable to react. In each of these times, our senses kinda refuse to respond. It's when less becomes more.

In purely emotional terms, extreme joy and extreme sorrow are almost the same. Enjoy these emotions to the hilt. Live them as much as you would live any other moment. And you will see poetry coming out of the brightest and darkest hours alike.

Impressive Expression

The other day, me and my colleague were reviewing a presentation that was to be given to students and fresh graduates who were about to embark on a journey in the IT industry. There was one slide which talked about having the right attitude. I had an idea to put forth at the time- but I could not put in across as clearly as I would have liked to. And when I read this quote, I was delighted to see that it put my thoughts in the correct set of words:

“It's easy to let life deteriorate into making a living instead of making a life. It's not the hours you put in, but what you put into the hours that counts. Learn to express rather than impress. Expressing evokes a "me too"' attitude while impressing evokes a "so what" attitude.”
~ Jim Rhon

Express v/s impress. A difficult, but very important lesson to learn. And the sooner one learns it, the better. I have an interesting example to give here. I had a colleague who frequently got into petty arguments with people. Over time, I realized what the problem was: he saw every thing as an opportunity to show off his knowledge. Whether it was an interview, a meeting or a general discussion, he assumed it was a chance for him to showcase his talent and expertise. No one ever had any doubts about his knowledge or expertise- everyone has acknowledged long back that this guy was good. But everyone shied away from interacting with him because of his "I know it all" attitude. So in spite of him being so talented, neither could he be of any help to people, nor could he add any value by his presence.

I had talked about this in another post of mine (Clash of the Titans), that after a certain stage, we need to stop asking others to certify our worth. Instead, we need to join this "others" camp and help people understand their worth.

Work on your expression, and your impression will take care of itself.

Drop

I have been trying to write this post since Tuesday evening- the fateful day when it happened... But just could not get myself to write about it- till now that is. I guess it is only now- after four days or so- that words are forming themselves without sounding like sentences out of a documentary.

A normal day, which starts with the usual frenzy of activity. A couple of telemarketing phone calls- "Madam we are offering a new policy for accident insurance....." and I reply with "No thanks.. " as I get back to cursing my super-slow IDE while trying to fix some test-case. As noon approaches- I start feeling uneasy- maybe its the sudden change in climate.. I am not feeling very well. By the time I am done with lunch- I feel worse. So I decide to finish off with the current task and leave for home.


It's around 3:45pm when I leave office with the usual "Call me if its urgent" line. I get into my car, and get on the road. There's a mini bus in front of me. I am driving at 40KMPH. Hmm- the mini bus is slowing down- looks like it's going to take a turn now. I slow down- I don't want to overtake it - there's already a car to my left. I am not in a hurry- I slow down the car: 30KMPH.. 20KMPH... 10KMPH... Stop. I am waiting for the mini bus to complete the turn at the cutting in the road. I have been waiting for around 5 seconds now- the bus is waiting for traffic from that side to stop so that it can turn. "Come on... Take a turn!!" I say in my mind..

BANG!!!

My car has surged ahead. No- I did not accelerate. And no- the car isn't in neutral. And yes- my foot is firmly on the break. It takes a millisecond for my brain to register that someone hit my car from behind. And as soon as that registers- I turn behind- and see that white car- with it's bonnet open- speed past me.. "The number- I've got to see that car's number!!!" my brain is screaming to me.. But my eye-sight cannot reach the number plate of that car- and it is then that I realize- that my car has rammed into the mini bus in front of me- and the bonnet of my car is into the bus sideways- almost up to my windshield..

Oh-oooo...

Suddenly I forget all about that white car. The bonnet of my car has crumpled like a sheet of paper, as the corner of the turning bus stabbed into it. My hands are still on the steering wheel. I foolishly notice that the car has stopped running. Nothing happens for the next complete second. I am just sitting there- motionless- as if I expect this is to be a nightmare which will end any second now.

No it's not a nightmare. Here they come...

Who are all these people who are crowding around me? The mini-bus driver begins with a full verbal assault. "HANG ON A SEC!!!" I tell him. "I did NOT hit your bus on purpose!!! My car was hit from behind- and I got pushed into the bus!!!" He looks at me incredulously. I try to get my car started so that I can move it to avoid a traffic jam. The mini bus driver glares at me- "Madam- don't move the car till my Sahib comes- he needs to see the accident as it happened. I say.. "Ok" and proceed to take off my seat-belt and get out of the car..

Do you know what they mean by a "mob"? Well- I know now.

The mob is not letting me get out of the car. "Eee madam- stay where you are. Don't move. Don't leave the car. You think you can run away like this?" Me?! Run away?! What the hell are they talking about?! Do I really look that stupid so as to make these people think that I intentionally rammed into a mini-bus with my little Alto?! There are 10 people shouting at me at the same time and I am cornered in my car. "How dare you try to overtake and damage the mini bus?! Don't you know- the bus is under Transport Corporation (or something like that) and you can't get away after damaging it."

I am trying to make sense out of what those people are talking about. Me damaging the bus? I mean- really now. I am looking at my car- completely wrecked - and these people are threatening me not to move because I damaged the bus?!

Some people are putting their hand on the window and gesturing angrily at me. Ok- now I am scared. It suddenly dawns upon me that I am the only female around- and that it is only me against the mob. My hands are trembling now. I get hold of my cell phone and start dialing 9822... Manjusha's number. I am just a kilometer from office. She can reach soon and she will get someone along with her. "Hello.. Manjusha.. Can you come here right now.. I have met with an accident..." I am met with a brief, shocked, silence at the other side.. Manjusha's voice comes back on line- "Where are you right now..? " I tell her my location- in a surprisingly cold, accurate, machine-like way.

100 - the number is 100..

They are here- they are here!!! I have never been so happy in my life to see a police van. They let me move my car. I turn the key in the ignition- hoping that there is no blast like they show in the movies. It turns and the car springs back to life. I put it in reverse gear with doubt clouding my mind- "Will it run?!" I let go of the clutch and it moves behind- clearing all my doubts- it's running. I somehow take a U turn and park the car at the other side of the road. Some good samaritan from the crowd comes to me and hands me over two things which he picked up from the accident spot.. "Madam- here- your car's bumper and headlight- it had fallen off over there.. " I look at the two things in his hands- take them from him and thank him- I cannot believe I am carrying pieces of my car. I put them inside the car- or whatever is left of it..

Ok- so by this time I am in bad shape. Tears are stinging my eyes and and I am battling them so that they don't spill out. Of course I lose the battle as the first big, gigantic tear rolls down my cheek. By this time- the mob has been scattered away by the police. "No no no- I cannot cry right now.. Easy Priyanka easy.. " I tell myself. I get out of the car and walk towards the police personnel. I tell him what happened. I notice Manjusha and Dhanraj walking towards me.

They make a diagram of the accident- which car was where and who hit whom. They ask us to get the car to the police station, some distance from the spot. I am not sure of driving the car in that condition- but what the heck- I don't feel anything anymore- a sickening numbness has begun to set in. I drive the car in first and second till the police station. And I am greeted with expressions ranging from pity and horror as I make my way till there.

FIR time ..

The police station is a small place with a some cupboards, desks, a TV and a mirror saying "Majhaa ganvesh kasaa aahe" meaning "How does my uniform look?". I sit there silently. the police personnel question me and get all details. The FIR is ready in sometime. But I am up for another interesting ordeal now.

"Hello- is this the insurance company?"

I call up the car showroom (which had gotten me the car insurance) to get the insurance company number. A guy answers "Hello ma'am. Pleased to have received your call. How may I help you?". I clear my throat and say- "Hello- This is Priyanka- I got a car from your showroom in March- I have just met with an accident- can you please tell me which number I can contact on". Without a moment's delay the guy replies- "Oh- this is about insurance- hang on I shall transfer you to that department". I wait for the music to get over when other person comes on line with a curt "Yes?" I repeat my sentences just to be transfered again. By this time, Manjusha and Dhanraj are also fuming about the calls being transfered and their irritation fuels me a bit- and when the third operator comes online I tell her "This is Priyanka. I have met with an accident and need the insurance number. And if you dont have it- PLEASE DON'T TRANSFER THE CALL ANYWHERE WHERE I HAVE TO REPEAT EVERYTHING! JUST HANG UP" She meekly gives me the number. Manjusha is writing down all the numbers that I am speaking out. After five more calls- I reach the required person and intimate him about the accident.

Back to the pavilion

The police ask me to come around later. I somehow drive the car to the office parking where the main gate security greets with me shocked looks. I get the car into the parking and go back to my desk. Like an audio recording- I tell everyone about the accident. I have not called up my family yet- I know that would need to wait a bit.

Kunal, my teammate, says he'll drop me home. I am home now and am telling everyone about it. It seems as if it happened years ago as I recite the story again.

It's close to 9pm now- and I just want to sleep. No phone calls. Nothing. I just want to sleep....


It is only now that I am in a state to write about it without feeling numb. This incident has made me realize how lucky and special I am- and how many people there are out there who are praying for my well being. I am here today typing away about this only because I was wearing my seat belt. I am here today giving a recollection of the whole ordeal only because the car that hit mine, hit from the left side, making me hit the bus sideways. Had it been a head-on collision- my windshield would have rained on me.

I want to make an appeal to everyone who's reading this. Please wear your seat-belts while driving people. And please please live each and every moment of your life. Without regrets. Because I know what I am saying when I say that only the present moment is what we have. Live it.

Life is like a drop of water- and for me it's more beautiful now than it was ever before.. Amen! :)

Outlook Express

"Two men look through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one the stars"
- Frederick Langbridge

Believe.

मैं स्वरूप पाती मृत्तिका...

मृत्तिका
- नरेश मेहता

मैं तो मात्र मृत्तिका हूँ -
जब तुम
मुझे पैरों से रौंदते हो
तथा हल के फाल से विदीर्ण करते हो
तब मैं -
धन - धान्य बनकर मातृरूपा हो जाती हूँ |

जब तुम
मुझे हाथों से स्पर्श करते हो
तथा चाक पर चढाकर घुमाने लगते हो
तब मैं -
कुम्भ और कलश बनकर
जल लाती तुम्हारी अंतरंग प्रिया हो जाती हूँ |

जब तुम
मुझे मेले में मेरे खिलौने रूप पर
आकर्षित होकर मचलने लगते हो
तब मैं -
तुम्हारें शिशु हाथों में पहुंच प्रजारुपा हो जाती हूँ |

पर जब भी तुम
अपने पुरुषार्थ-पराजित स्वत्व से मुझे पुकारते हो
तब मैं -
अपने ग्राम्य-देवत्व के साथ
चिन्मयी शक्ति हो जाती हूँ |
प्रतिमा बन तुम्हारी आराध्या हो जाती हूँ |

विश्वास करों
यह सबसे बड़ा देवत्व हैं, कि -
तुम पुरुषार्थ करते मनुष्य हो
और मैं स्वरूप पाती मृत्तिका

Read in between lines,words,hearts,souls- and you'll find music...

Today I came across these lines:

Sticks and stones are hard on bones.
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything.
But silence breaks the heart.

And then I read the words:

"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

Which made me remember the phrase:

"Easier said than done."

But as I now get ready to go to sleep and dream- I am saying to myself:

"Everything happens for the best"

Because I know that the only truth is the one which I know-

All love is in my heart-
And all music in my soul
What words cannot say
My eyes make whole

I choose ... to smile :)

"Make a choice- and make it fast- do you want strawberry or butterscotch?..."

I looked at my sister as she stood there impatiently- her feet tapping- waiting for me to tell her which flavor of ice cream I would like to have. It was almost 3 in the afternoon and I was feeling sleepy- but I had to make this choice since it would then define the next course of action to be taken.

As I picked butterscotch- I wished making all choices were as simple.

"... Make a choice..."

Three words which, when arranged together as above, have the capability to get a person up in knots. The ice-cream example was trivial, but today, these three words stood up in front of me, when a loved one made a choice in someone else's favor- against me- "i know it hurts you, but ..." The word but, when strategically placed, can hurt a thousand times more.. And as that person chose to hurt me- I made a choice myself- I chose to honor that person's choice.

Because I believe in what J. K. Rowling once said:

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

I know I made the right choice.

Tyohaaron kee kaun jaat?

I read the following article in The Times of India in its edition dated 19th Oct 2007:

Durga For All - Abantika Ghosh

It was that terrible time in every teenager’s life — the period before the Class XII pre-board examinations. Puja had just ended and some of us friends were waiting for our English tutor to arrive, contemplating the horrible things that were going to happen to us when we sat for our papers a month later after the five days of mindless revelry. There was just one composed person in the room — my classmate Emmanuel. He made a smug statement: “Nothing can happen to me. I will pass with flying colors’’. What audacity, we thought. “What makes you think so?’’ was the almost instant and disgusted chorus. “Aami thakur tulechi (i lifted God)’’ was the answer. It took a while to register. And then we realized. His supreme confidence stemmed from the simple fact that he had helped organizers of his neighborhood Durga Puja lift the 12-odd-foot idol onto the podium and he hoped to clear the examinations by the grace of Devi Durga. He was dead serious about it. He had managed to silence us. He was the only Muslim in the room, and also the only one who had been so actively involved in the religious aspects of the Puja.

After 31 heady Durga Pujas, this has come to be my everlasting Puja memory, even though the incident did not happen during those precious five days filled with the intoxicating fragrance of new clothes, bamboo pandal, dhuno and everything else all true-blue Bongs associate with the festival. It is special because it drove home the real essence of the festival — the fact that it is not about religiosity at all. In fact, it was fairly late in life that i grasped the religious connotations of the festival. As a child it had been all about this superwoman who looked pretty and meant five days of no studies. Puja is a celebration of culture, a celebration of everything beautiful, including falling in love with your sari-clad classmate at 16 and exchanging furtive glances in the midst of drumbeats during the aarati. One does not have to be a Hindu or Bengali to enjoy the delights of the Puja. All one needs is the willingness to join the festivities with gusto. Because the Puja is a celebration of life.


It was just a week back that we had gone and had enjoyed lip-smacking, authentic Hyderabadi Biryani and an equally delicious preparation of Sheer-Kurma in Amma's small, freshly painted room, on the occasion of Ramzan Eid. Amma is the house maid who works at our place.

It is Dussera today- and my mom offered some sweets as prasad to Amma when the latter came to our place in the morning. Amma did not hesitate at all- she removed her footwear and took the pallu of her saaree over her head as my mom put the prasad in her hands.

As I watched it all, I realized that the place has changed- the occasion has changed- the delicacy has changed- but the essence of celebration and the festive spirit has remained the same. And that it has nothing to do with where one was born- which language one speaks or which form of God one worships.

Because the joyous spirit of a celebration has no caste- no creed- no religion. As the title for this post asks- "Tyohaaron kee kaun jaat" - meaning- "What is the caste of a festival?".. Amen!

Here's wishing everyone a very Happy Dusseraa :)

Equals and Opposites

What you term as ego can well be self-respect for another.

:) And vice versa...

The Invisible Man

Mahatma Gandhi...

A name synonymous with ahimsa. A name which has spawned a series of philosophies, a score of super-hit movies and which still finds a place in all major political speeches in India.

I am not a Gandhiwadi. Yes- I look upto Gandhiji- like most Indians do. But I have never been a strict follower of him or his ideas. The simplest example- "Ek gaal par yadi koi thappad maarein- to doosraa gaal aagein badhaaon.." I think I will find it extremely difficult to follow this. If someone does slap me on one cheek- depending on the size of that person- I would either slap back or I would retreat.. I wouldn't really offer my other cheek to be slapped..

All to say that- I respect this great man- and he is a force to reckon with. But that's about it. What I am trying to say in politically correct terms, is that I am essentially indifferent about it.

All that indifference changed in a single moment yesterday.

I was working on a professional assignment which involved monitoring the mailing of a newsletter. In the process of doing so- me and my colleague needed to go through the messages which were a part of the mailing. Being a newsletter- it had a weekly summary of some individual opinions about various topics. And one of those topics was about the Mahatma himself. As a few expletives in that particular section caught our attention, we went ahead to read the whole article and at the end of it- we both were dead silent.

As we read that revolting text which compared the Mahatma with Osama and Bush and others we felt sick. Suddenly the empty office walls seemed to close in on us as our blood boiled with anger. But of course- being professionals we quickly closed the window and resumed with the monitoring. "Oh- this stat has increased- that's a good sign.. Hmm- we'll need to change the config here a bit"

But we both knew- that inside us- we both were terribly upset and hurt after reading that message. We both avoided talking about it- but that one moment of pained silence was enough to say it all- it hurt!

The Mahatma- albeit invisible- made me feel his presence. And the invisibility made him more powerful than any tangible force. Yesterday I understood how implicit some things are. We do not realize how much they matter to us till we see them being brought up in an undignified manner.

As for the individual who had all that nonsense say to about Mahatma Gandhi- I know that beating him up won't help and suddenly- Gandhiji's ahimsa starts making sense... So here's what I pray for that bird-brained lost soul:

Raghupati raghav raja ram
Patit paavan sita ram
Ishwar allah tero naam
Sabko sanmati de bhagwan..

Clash of the Titans...

Six teams of fifteen people each. A cool game modeled on the age old game of Treasure Hunt. A very good idea to bring disparate teams in a business unit together. The game plan was perfect. And the end-result? A group of people shouting at each other at the top of their voices- fighting with the event coordinators for justice.

People came for the event fully charged- and most of them (read the losers) left with joyless sarcastic cheer and the others (read the winners) left with some gifts and empty hoots of hurrays. Empty because they were already so tired fighting for the win- it did not seem like a win anymore.

The idea behind the game was to entertain the people involved- to get them to know each other in a setting which was outside the context of work. But what ended up happening was a bitter group of unruly people ready to climb up on chairs and tables to prove their point.

What went wrong with an event which started off with such a good idea? The fact that the coordinators were not well prepared and the organization could definitely have been better added to the fiasco- and am sure that they can and will learn from these shortcomings. But the next time- they would need to do more than just organize it- they need to know how to tame the people they are trying to cater to...

I guess it is difficult to entertain a bunch of intelligent people, each one of whom is as ambitious as the other, each one of whom has stood first in their class in school/college, each one of whom is an ace performer at the workplace. When such people are pitted against each other- we must expect fireworks. Their only aim is to win. And when they see something or someone trying to stop that from happening- bang! Out come all the intellectual weapons loaded with huge amounts of verbal sarcasm.

I was once chosen as one of the anchors for an Antakshari contest in the company. When the event coordinator met me- he looked at me with a surprised look and said-
"You?! You almost look like a fresher! You are going to compere it?"
"Why- yes I am.. Are you unsure about whether I would be able to present it well..?"
"Oh no no- not at all... I have no doubts about your verbal and presentational skills... But you have to remember- when the teams start playing- it is not a game anymore- it is like being on the war-front... Are you sure you want to do this..?"
"Well thanks for the warning sir.. But I think I can handle this"
I was amused at what the coordinator had said- and I was thinking to myself- how bad can it get! It's a simple game.

And as I look back- I know I have never been more mistaken in my life. I had to tame those teams like a ring master- they were like wild animals on the loose- and the audience would just add fuel to the fire. After the contest- my co-anchor said "Priyanka- today I saw your Kali maataa roop" and I replied back saying "Today I saw the raakshas in all those brilliant engineers who come across as perfect sophisticates when you meet them in the hallway or in the pantry".

Yesterday evening, as I watched everyone around me fight- I was wondering- why was the purpose lost on them? Why are they playing it as if it is a matter of life and death. Being passionate about it is fine- and in fact- I would not allow myself to play the game if I wasn't into it completely. But is that passion itself not the biggest reward in a game like this?! Is enjoying oneself not the first prize in a group activity like this? I played it with full spirit and enjoyed the adrenalin rush to the hilt as we searched for clues.. I enjoyed myself completely as I looked at all the clues with my teammates to figure out the answer. And it was my moment of glory when the answer occurred to me in a flurry of mental activity. Those moments were more precious to me than the presentation ceremony later.

But it is and will remain the truth that most people that I saw around me yesterday- entered the game to win it- and win it at any cost. For them- it was not a way to relax and interact with people- it was just another way to prove themselves. And that is exactly where the fun element disappeared completely.

I don't mean to sound like a monk here- I love the limelight and I love being acknowledged (yeah well- am human!). But fighting to get acknowledged by proving others wrong... Hmm.. Not my cup of tea.

All those people who were fighting yesterday did not realize a simple thing- they did not need a silly game to prove their capabilities to anyone. All of them are already winners in their own right.

Everyone has to struggle to make a mark- and the initial step of making this mark involves the acknowledgment by some people (parents/teachers/managers/family/society). Once that mark is made- we need to stop depending on their acknowledgment to certify our capabilities. We need to grow up and scale ahead. After a certain point, the best acknowledgment and appreciation comes from us- and it is called contentment... :)

'Simple' has all the letters needed to make a 'Smile'

It is amazing that we all want joy to come our way- and yet we put all these conditionals on how it should come our way. So much so that when it does come- we completely ignore it just because it did not come in the attire that we expected it to be in.

I have been told (not once- not twice but many times- and recently by a person whom I briefly got introduced to) that happiness is in the moment- in simple things...

Listening to your favorite song playing somewhere. This has brought me out of terribly bad moods so many times!

Watching kids playing with each other in the park near our house when I come home from office. Just watching their innocent faces is magical... :)

Sitting by a river- listening to serene sound of the water as it laps up to the shore in small waves. It is so soothing...

Admiring the luminous moon in the dark sky. Well- there's definitely some connection that I have with the moon- it never fails to entice me... :)

And so many more similar moments that I get to live almost every day. Happiness is not circumstantial- it is a state of mind. I know it for a fact that just writing this post has made me happier than what I was just some time back. And I hope it has a similar (if not the same) effect on anyone who reads it!

Have happy times ahead people! :)