Ek khaali pannaa...

Bas ek paani kee aawaaz laplapaati hain
Ki ghaat chhod ke maanjhi tamaam jaa bhee chuke...

I saw the movie Raincoat (starring Ajay Devgan and Aishwarya Rai) today. Heart wrenching.. No.. Maybe heart wrenching is not the right word.. I do not know what the right word is.. I just know that I felt empty after watching the movie.. Yeah- now I have the right word.. I felt a void in me. I felt numb and listless.

I had felt a similar feeling after I had watched Black. That was one inspiring movie- and yet there was something dark about it. Dark enough to bring many of my caged feelings to the foreground. And today Raincoat did something similar- but in an opposite way. Raincoat took away all my emotions and left my empty. As if a busy street suddenly went completely deserted...

Mathura nagarpati kaahe tum gokul jaaon..

A piece of Peace

"There is a lot of noise around me. People are running around hurriedly- going about their own work. But I find serenity even in this noisy place... "

Real peace needs to be inside us. In our soul. Real peace needs to be made with oneself. Real peace comes when one is comfortable with oneself without any regrets, complaints, anger. Just to be fine with oneself- that is the first step towards peace.

And I guess that is why this Real peace is the most difficult to achieve. Most of us are so self critical and have set such huge expectations from ourselves, that in the pursuit of fulfilling these expectations, we lose out on the most important thing that we are supposed to do with our life- live it!

Right to Responsibility

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err” - Mahatma Gandhi

“Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves.” - Nietzsche

Two great people- two interesting lines.
One advocates the need to allow experimentation so as to let creativity flourish-
and the other necessitates the need to take ownership for our actions.
Both vital for what the world calls as freedom.
To be free is to have the right to do as we wish and to take full responsibility for that.

India celebrates the 60^th year of Independence today. And patriotism starts in the heart.
Before attempting to do something for the country- lets all try to exercise freedom with ourselves first.
Let’s all be a little tolerant of mistakes- but not without assuming responsibility for consequences.

Happy Independence Day!

Entropy

I have almost always been admonished for my sudden implulses and my heart-rules-head syndrome. Yes- it pinches me to call it a syndrome but that is what it is termed by all the sane people out there. Since they are in majority and I am in minority- I think it would be politically correct to equate it with an abnormal condition (hence the word syndrome)

I have never really planned for any event in my life. I have lived it as it comes. And yes- I have lived it without any regrets. The road has not always been laid down with roses- there have been a lot of thorns too- but I am truly content that I got to live through all of it- good and bad. I have breezed through some beautiful moments and have survived through some tough ones. And there was one thing which was never missing in any of these moments- that element of surprise- adventure and the most important of all- hope.

Of course- that is solely about me. So a disclaimer is required here which says- I am not denying the effectiveness and advantages of logical reasoning and analytical capabilties. I obviously cannot deny that people who find their place in the majority- "The Thinkers"- are pretty content too! And of course there must be some valid reason why such people are in majority while "The Dreamers" are in minority. The Thinkers are assured about the fact that they have thought of almost everything and have planned for any almost any eventuality. Well- it is not surprising that the word almost appeared twice in that last sentence. Yes- it makes sense to plan, to analyse and to conclude and predict based on statistical information. Millions of lives are saved everyday using such tools and techniques and it would be foolish to give up on them! But the bottomline remains- one simply cannot plan for everything- because the future is a surprise. Period. There is no full proof way to prepare for everything and the sooner one understands that, the less disappointed that person will be. Which reminds me of a nice quote I read the other day:

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

It's true- one wants to see the universe and everything that happens as a series of logical events- because it is simple to understand logic- and more importantly because logic would enable one to predict what would happen ahead. And then that element of uncertainty will be gone and one will be more assured. Or at least that is what one thinks would happen.

On the other hand, it is extremely difficult to accept the fact that there are things about this universe which defy logic and reason- which just exist and occur without any visible explanation.

Does that mean that one should stop analysing things completely? No- I don't think so. I guess the way to go about it would be not to analyse all things at the same time- to know that there will always be some things which will not seem to make any sense at the given time in the given circumstances. And to know- that when the time is right- everything will be visible to us... :)

Gender Bender Anger

One of my guy friends was once complaining after an argument with his girl friend- "Women are seriously weird creatures.. They have something in mind- they say something else- and feel something completely different! It is so so difficult to understand what is it that they want!"

Righty! A song from the popular movie Hum Tum starring Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukherjee puts down similar sentiments:

"Sochtee hain zyaadaa- kam woh samajhtee hain
Dil kuchh kahtaa hain- kuchh aur hee kartee hain..."

At the time, I agreed with him- I have observed many of my friends who are girls behaving like that- and to be fair I am like that quite a few times too. I feel in a particular way- I think about it in a different way and finally I do something completely different!

However, some recent incidents have proven me completely wrong! This "weird" behavioral pattern has nothing to do with gender- because guys are no different! They feel upset about something- they think they are cool and fine about it- but their actions depict something completely different! Confusing..? Let me give you an example:

Scenario 1
This is an extremely common scenario which has been over exposed through tons of email forwards which attempt to explain the idiosyncrasies of female behavior..
Girl is upset.
Guy: "What's wrong?"
Girl: "Nothing."
Guy: "You are obviously upset."
Girl: "Hmm"
Guy: "What is that supposed to mean?! Why do you not tell me why you are upset?"
Girl: "How the hell can you be so blind to my sentiments! After saying (or doing) what you did, you're still asking me why I am upset?! How insensitive!"
Guy is frantically making a wild guess- what all did I say/do... Chances are that he might get it and that's the break through. If he's lucky- his first guess will be right! God bless him.....

Scenario 2
This scenario is not rare but just not over exposed. Check this out..
Guy is upset.
Girl: "Hi!! Hey.. You look kinda stressed out... Are you alright..?"
Guy: "Yes of course! I am fine! What do you think is going to happen to me?!"
Girl: "I don't know.. You just look a little drawn.. and upset.. What's the matter?"
Guy: "I TOLD YOU.. It's nothing...
Girls will remain girls- they have these internal antennae which sense the other person's emotions.. So she cannot stop being a girl and she probes further...
Girl: "Now I know for sure... Something is wrong...? Is it something at work?"
Guy: "Work is fine."
Girl: "Ok.. I guess it must be us then.. What's the matter Guy? Please tell me.."
Guy: "It's nothing. I am going to go and watch the TV for some time. I'll talk to you later".

Ok. Girl thinks- give him his space- he might be getting irritated with so much probing and all. Maybe he will feel a little relaxed after watching TV for sometime. Hmm. That does no good though. Guy is furiously switching channels and cursing everything he sees "How the hell can the team lose the complete series!" or "The govt is useless- look at what they are doing about the country" or "That Ekta Kapoor has no other work to do except spewing out a series of senseless soap operas.."

Girl sighs- she is now getting worried. Guy is obviously upset about something she did- but he would not tell her and he also wants her to do something about it. Finally she goes and switches off the TV.
Girl: "What the HELL is wrong with you"
Guy finally gets angry and shows his true emotion and says out what was bothering him.

All to say- both genders are equally complex. The things which guys find obvious might not be that obvious to girls. And vice versa. It's more to do with individuals than with gender... Some people are extremely fortright and will tell you to your face- "you are an idiot" and there will be other people who will beat around the bush and leave it to you to find out that you are an idiot.

So whether you are the Guy or the Girl- the next time you are angry with the other person- try putting yourself in his/her shoes.. When we are angry- we instinctively want that other person to apologize or to do something which makes us feel better- but let's always remember to be fair enough to keep at least one door open so that the other person gets a chance to make things better :)