Let the show BEGIN!

Well.

I did not enter the Voice of Persistent singing contest to lose, so to say. Like all the other participants, I too harbored the not-so-secret ambition of being in the top three, and coming home with a trophy. I knew what a tough fight it would be and given the musically accomplished folks who were going to be singing in the competition. I realized, right at the start, that it would be a great honor just to reach the final five!

And that I did. As my name was announced in the final five list, I was not thinking about the trophy anymore. All I was thinking of was - "Yesssssssss!!! I *will* get to perform the last and final song that I had prepared for!!!".. The final moment came and I performed. Then the super-final moment came and the results were announced.

And then, anti climax.

My name wasn't there in the top three list. I put on a brave face and applauded the winners. Okay, let me be honest and say that I truly was very happy for each one of them, for they totally deserved to be holding those trophies in their hands. But hey! I am human too and for that split second, I felt upset that my hands were too small for that trophy and my voice too weak to reach it..

Kunal was on the stage with me in that very split second. I was looking at him, trying to fight back tears which were threatening to swell in my eyes - ".. so I was hoping I would be third in rank at least.." and he was saying ".. arre yaar.. We knew it from the beginning right? That there would be a very tough chance.. We just wanted to give it our BEST.. And God knows you did that.. Sumi I am proud of you.. The way you sang today, I fell in love with you all over again.. Sach.."

I smiled at his happy face and thought, yes, I did not let him, my best friend, my life partner and my Guru, down. And that's a big prize in itself. I started going backstage to get my bag and other stuff.

That's when it all started.

"Congratulations Priyanka!! That was a MIND BLOWING peformance.."

"Priyanka.. You were the best! I LOVED your songs.. "

".. Kyaa performance thaa yaar.. Mazaa aa gayaaa"

".. and the way you guys sang the duet, you were tempting photographers to click your pics.. Arre yaar tumhaarein photo lete lete memory khatam ho gayi camera ki!!"

".. My god woman! You had the nerve to sing THAT song on THIS stage!! I have forgotten how that song originally sounded after hearing your rendition of it.. You ROCK!!"

I was swarmed by people from all sides!! I knew my team mates would stand by me and that the results would not matter to them.. But I had certainly not expected this level of adulation!! People from all over the auditorium were coming and congratulating me for my performance. People I knew and people I had never ever seen before - all of 'em were shaking my hand and lauding me. There were kids who were waiting to come and shake hands with me and wish me luck!!

Finally the audience started to disperse, but the icing on the cake was yet to come. A very senior and special person came and talked to me after that. This gentleman defies his age in his enthusiasm and quick wit, and especially his memory. He still remembers one of my stage performances, which took place five years back - he still addresses me as "Sonia Gandhi", after the character that I played in that play. He is one of the most revered folks in the company, and he walked up to me and said - "My vote went to you dear! You truly were the best"..

Finally, I was able to go and meet my family and my Mom's joyous face with tiny tears in her eyes said it all - I had already won my prize in the pride that she felt for me!! My sister, who's one of my biggest critics, said it too "I never knew you could sing like THAT!! WOW!"..

When I went to sleep that night, I said to myself - "This was one of the best days of my life.."

I was wrong.

There was a parcel waiting for me in office the next day - it had a rose pinned onto an envelope carrying a beautiful, handwritten letter. It came from one of the prize winning participant's father who deeply appreciated my songs. That letter is now a part of my most treasured things. Sir - if you are reading this - I do not have words to tell you how special that letter will always be to me and saying "thanks" seems too tiny a response to your thoughtful and soulful words..

I always thought I knew what it is like to be rewarded and awarded. But what I was experienced on the evening of the show and the day after, was something totally different. And without a single doubt, it was much more special and personal. The pride and love in Kunal's eyes and on my family's faces, the letter, the overwhelming response I got from everyone in the auditorium - these are all my special prizes, and they are priceless. The first line of that invaluable letter said it right..

"You stole the show, though not the trophy.."

Find your own dream

"When I was young- my parents told me what to do. When I grew up and got married, my husband told me what to do. And now, my children tell me what to do. I am tired of others dictating my life. For God's sake- it's MY life!!"

One of my aunts was particularly upset the other day as she blurted out all these words in one breath. I was sitting there silently, with my hand on her shoulder- trying to pacify her a bit. But I found words betraying me as I tried to string them in sentences. I just sat there with her and she tried to fight back sobs.

I tried to think of what she must be feeling. I am not yet in the second and third phase that my aunt talked about. But my parents never dictated my life as I grew up. They never forced me to wear a certain kind of clothes. They never stopped me from participating in extra-curricular activities thinking that my studies would suffer. They never inhibited me from making friends who were guys, out of the fear that I would elope with one of them. One of the biggest examples is the time when I decided to do my engineering from Nasik. Everyone, including my closest relatives, called me stupid and naive for choosing to take admission in a college in Nasik, in spite of having the necessary percentile and opportunity to join some prestigious colleges. But my Mom and Dad never questioned it. And the fact that I am doing quite well now- is my answer to all those people who did not believe in me back then, and my tribute to my parents who wholeheartedly supported my decision.

As I sat with with my aunt that day- I recollected all this and felt fortunate to have been given the chance to prove that I can make my decisions. That has given me the confidence to find my own dreams and to see them come true. And I remembered something which my Dad has always said to me in different words over all these years... Don't live someone else's life and dreams. Go find your own.

Thank you Mom and Dad- you made me the confident person that I am today :)

Believe in Yourself - Follow your Dreams...

I saw Jab We Met on Friday. Loved it. Because it is about all these things which I believe in..

... that dreams come true- you just need courage to believe in them enough to follow them...
... that when you truly wish for something dil se- you do get it...
... that when you are passionate about something- you do things which seem stupid and outrageous to others...
... that no one knows what might happen next- which is why one should live each moment to the fullest...

We have a photo frame in office. It has four lines inscribed on it:

Believe in miracles..
Believe in yourself..
Follow your heart..
Follow your dreams..

When I saw that movie- I remembered these lines and I remembered that frame. We don't see this frame all the time in front of us. In fact- most of the times- it needs to be kept face down because it does not have anything at the back which can help us put it up on a wall.

But we don't need to see it everyday to remember what it says. Because we have the essence of it in us now. And there have been numerous times when these lines have inspired us to keep going. These lines have encouraged us to stand by our beliefs. We recently won some recognition awards for our work- and I would like to believe that it is this same spirit of faith and belief in us which made us winners.

Ok-time out! So what's happening here? I started talking about a movie, then went on about a picture frame and some team awards.

Well.. I guess that's the irony of it :) The team went to see Jab We Met as a celebration for the awards- and the fact that the movie was all about those four inspiring lines in motion- made it all seem like a wonderful conspiracy...

I'll repeat my favorite thought from The Alchemist:

"When you really want something as you walk on the path that destiny has laid down for you- the whole world conspires so that you get it.."

You just need to experience it once to become a believer. I know I am.. :)

Are you? :)

Flying high

Spread your wings and reach beyond the boundaries.

Limit yourself to nothing, strive for all.
For in that reaching,
You just might find that you have grasped;
All that will bring you happiness and completion.
- S. W. Murphy

When I passed out 12th std, my uncle gifted me a small frame with a picture of a soaring eagle, and a message on it- "You cannot know how high you can fly till you spread your wings". I liked the picture a lot and I put it on my study desk. It has inspired confidence in me in some difficult times as I made my way through four years of engineering.

I left that frame on my desk back at home when I started working in Pune. But the frame and its message have not left me ever. There have been times when I have been wary of doing some things- but once I started with the task- I realized how naturally it came to me and that it was not as difficult or impossible as it initially seemed to be. All I needed to do was spread my wings and I realized that I could indeed fly!